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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

5 min. BS rule: using anger to be productive

Yesterday I was pretty upset after speaking to an agent about a film project I'm working on (not LIS related!). The conversation was over-all GOOD. The person was 'nice' and it ended well, but I was rushed to deliver a 5 min. cohesive dialog, in what should have been at least twice as long (in my opinion) so that I could fluidly get my thoughts across in a proper manner. And why is that 5 min. thing so socially acceptable? Who reading, likes to feel like the person on the other end is waiting for the conversation to be over? I doubt even the people that made up the 5 min. rule like to feel that way. But I had a purpose for calling, and ultimately, he was doing me a favor by listening/answering.

When I finally did hang up, after my graciously granted 5 min. I thought, "this is such BS to deal with!!!" I'd rather be a good person, than good anything else... what happened to just finding time to genuinely listen/give advice to someone if they need something? I'm not talking about stopping ALL day long and listening to EVERYONE that wants to talk...I know that's not possible or productive. But look, if a friend OR friend of a friend wants advice, (which was my case) what the hell? We're not even complete strangers! Did every self-proclaimed important person start off making millions? I'm pretty sure that's not the case. They had to seek advice, do research and put in time... if someone else is doing the same thing and asks a question - what's the beef? Why are so many people so busy to return the favors they've been given at one point in time?

When someone emails me about makeup advice (because I've been a freelance makeup artist for 10 yrs) I respond and give them all the info I can in one paragraph. It takes about 10 min, 15 tops. I know lots of filmmakers around here who are the same, regardless of how busy they are... they don't find themselves to be of such superior importance that they can't lend a hand (or ear).

Bottom line, I realize that being angry doesn't get us anywhere (and is highly unproductive) if we don't constructively do anything with it. So I did... I got my mind right by changing the way I looked at it... appreciating the time he did give me and getting back to work immediately! Using anger as fuel is GOOD. If you're like me at all, it probably fuels you to WORK HARDER when someone says no, or is unhelpful. I'm not letting others set limitation for me, and you shouldn't either. If we want to set limitations, we can do it ourselves. Fortunately for me, it's not on my to-do list.

So message of the day, if you get angry, use it as fuel to be productive... that way you stay on flight and always get to your beautiful destination (with or without someone else's ingenuous 5 minutes). Thanks for reading! :) J

Live in a helpful, supportive universe. - Dr. Dyer

2 comments:

  1. NO ONE makes up their mind after 5 minutes like that. I find that they've most likely made up their mind before hand and that 5 minutes is usually a courtesy. I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. If it ever happens in person, I find the best way to turn the tables in your favor is to make THEM talk for 5 minutes beforehand on why you should be speaking to THEM. It actually works in my experience.

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  2. Thanks for the tip, Raz! :)

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