Around age thirty I set a goal. I would direct my first feature by the time I was thirty-five!
SURPRISE! I'm now thirty-five! And still trying to make my first (solo) feature film.
Although I co-wrote-produced-directed the mixed genre horror feature, Volando Muerte, it's not the same as the goal I originally set up. Perhaps the universe was just giving me what I wanted though... I mean, I didn't outline specifics, (or did I?) and send the bullet point list to God with special instructions.
Duh. Next time...
So what would have happened had I not set that goal? What if I didn't start producing Lost In Sunshine with Lorie in 2008? What if I didn't have a bucket of other projects at different levels lined up where I could have executed A FEATURE by now? Where would I be? What would I be doing?
Scary.
When in the pursuit of our dreams, especially filmmaking, 'we're not getting any younger' is something that really resonates with me. I've loved a lot of good people who've had their trips cut short. I don't have the final report on how my life is going to end, yet, so I'd better keep the momentum up and going strong if I'm going to make it to my heart's destinations. *Especially when things are constantly changing around me that I can't control.* Very important to note.
Excitement over the course of a journey often supersedes the expectation or outcome. It's mostly because while in our creative zones, we feel alive, empowered, inspired, and fearless. Nothing can hold us back. I like to call these our magic moments. The work pours through us, and we are merely the human facilitators. When we're done, we don't even know how we did it.
There's definitely a feeling of gratification when a labor of love project's finished. There's a sense of accomplishment and confidence that comes with producing something of such magnitude. And if the story touches someone somewhere... makes them laugh, cry, scared... there's nothing quite like it.
I've only experienced that on a very small level... when people have read one of my scripts... or someone's watched an Aether Paranormal film... it's heartwarming to have any response at all. But when one project is over, another must begin.
The joy's in the journey.
I still believe in silence. I still like meditating before I get out of bed, and drinking my coffee slowly... but everyday we have a new opportunity to move and make something great happen... maybe it's just to wake up and change our minds for the better... maybe it's to inspire someone else... whatever the day brings, I want to be the kind of energy that others like receiving.
Energy always bounces back.
We're not getting any younger, but hopefully we're getting smarter. Let's not take for granted that we always have the non-negotiable option, freedom, capability, and will to be great, if we try.
Love, Jentri
“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin
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